THE MANSION
-Not now! -Okay.
First we turn on the electricity.
-Sure it's not here? -Stop, silly.
Here. Take the dog.
-Be careful. -Yeah.
This castle!
It's a movie set!
Found it on the net. Really cheap.
Half the price! We needed something special.
Totally. It's awesome. Very thriller style.
-It's in bad shape. -Come on...
Even disgusting.
Why are we in the middle of nowhere?
-I knew it. No network. -No way!
-Really? -Zero bars.
Bruno, the damn suitcases!
-Sorry. -Take the suitcases.
So what do you guys think?
This rules! I never slept in a castle before.
-Like princesses. -Absolutely.
It looks like my military school. Pretty creepy.
Chill, it's New Year's. It'll be fun.
I don't know.
Drazik, wake up. We're here.
So this is Belgium.
Beautiful.
-What's your cousin's name? -Ask her.
My name is Charlotte.
Boys, we need a hand with the bags here.
Yes. I'm here!
What's the Wi-Fi password?
If you'd read my last e-mail, you'd know there's no Wi-Fi.
-There's no Wi-Fi? -No.
No network. No Wi-Fi. Wild idea! We're going to have fun.
Your ex is going to bust our balls.
Tell me about it.
Guys! Who cares about the Wi-Fi?
Let's relax, re-energize. Take care of ourselves.
-Walk in the woods. -Stop!
Let's forget about walks!
It's a well-known hunting reserve.
-What kind? -What? Gnus? Horses?
Wild boars.
The owners advised us no walks in the woods.
I have no reason to go there anyways.
-Scared? -No.
-Yes, you are. -Whatever. No!
Can we go, I really need to take a dump.
-Can you take my suitcase? -Yes!
I'll do it. Bruno, take mine.
Yes, fine, okay.
Perfect inspiration for my next part.
I'm not scared but it's creepy.
Can you hear that? Crows.
That's a good sign, buddy.
Corneille's beautiful.
Isn't that a singer?
It's a town: Corneille-Essonne.
Hawks, not easy.
It's a game.
-Take the luggage. -Yes!
-That's not nice! -Scared?
No I'm not scared.
Not scared.
This mansion belonged to Baron Gluckenstein Muller.
I've set up the rooms.
Bruno with Drazik. Stephan with Djamal. Sam with Jess.
-We can't pick our own rooms? -No.
-A problem? -"A problem?" No problem.
Nasty.
You were last minute, so the small room down the hall.
-There's no heater. -It doesn't bother me.
One more thing.
The 2nd floor is closed. No electricity, so stay out.
I left the deposit, please don't break anything.
Butt fart.
Nice, Djamal.
Dinner's at 9:30. Don't forget the evening theme:
The years 2000.
Who gives a shit!
Who am I sleeping with?
Let me check my register.
You're with me and Kitty.
It's going to be a great weekend.
What is it?
It's quite simple. I have it all.
Natural.
100% organic. 200% hallucinogen.
Weed from three continents.
Mild climates. Tropical. Arid regions.
Home rolled hashish.
Absinthe. Vodka.
Mexican mushrooms.
I even have...
a Tibetan frog, Pauline.
Lick her back
and see your ancestor's soul. -Well then.
Why did you bring this here?
Don't worry.
It's only what nature gives us. Not the pharmacist's shit.
Thanks a lot.
What for?
My mom's a pharmacist.
But, you're not taking over the business.
I'm taking over the business.
But it's not your passion. It's not a personal...
It's a personal choice.
Okay. Fine. But I mean
you're not a pharmacist yet? Your mom's not dying?
I'm sorry.
Sit down, man. Are you okay?
Well no, I'm not.
She's not dead
but those images made me feel bad. I'm sorry.
I just had a panic attack. I'm fine.
Perfect. I have what you need.
No, I'm fine. I want nothing.
Nor does Stephan,
who just broke up with Sam, and he thinks they're on a break.
Can't hurt him.
He says it's a common decision. To think it over.
She sure did.
How so?
-She slept with a guy. -No way!
Who?
I can't say.
Fuck! You're a secret keeper!
I don't want to know.
-Enzo. -No way!
Fuck, the bastards.
Why isn't he here?
-It's none of our business. -No.
In my opinion, you know I can feel people.
That's true.
I can tell you I get Sam.
She'll give him a chance.
I'd rather have sex with a bum.
I'd be scared, filled with excitement.
Stephan's worse than routine.
Every day's the same.
Yeah, the routine.
Exactly.
I'm happy it's over! I was about to explode.
I'm almost 25 which means almost old.
What's left? 3 years to enjoy my body.
Even less.
I don't care. I have a career plan.
In one year I'll be a stewardess. In two, crew chief.
Who wants a man born with a slipper on his dick.
You know what? Let's hook him up with your cousin.
He'll forget you by banging her.
She'll loosen up.
You're silly.
She's uptight. Almost autistic. She has no friends.
My aunt said: she needs to open up to the world.
That's why a gust of wind should open her up.
Stephan's no gust of wind.
He's more like a light breeze.
Like a draft.
Sex was crazy, you know.
You can't forget 5 years of passion. It's not fucking possible.
I stopped smoking for her.
Are you listening?
Shit happens.
You have to move on.
I had problems, look at me today.
I'm auditioning for a Hollywood movie.
Put that away. It's disgusting.
Jealous!
Your American dream is ridiculous.
It might be, but I have plans. What's yours after college?
It depends on Samantha.
It's been 6 months. Why persist? Let it go.
It's a classical thing. You met too young.
No, 5 months and 10 days. Explain too young?
Samantha's young. She needs new experiences.
New experiences?
I don't know, travel, go out, party.
-Sleep with men? -I didn't say that.
That's what you think.
Maybe you want to fuck her too?
-What? -Already done?
You fucked her?
No.
He fucked her!
He fucking fucked her!
With your big dick! Disgusting.
Seriously? I'd fuck my boy's girl?
She only has eyes for you.
-I'm not crazy. -No!
-Feel it? -I saw it.
-The way she looks at you. -I felt it too.
-I saw it. -Saw it too.
I felt it.
-Thank you. -You're welcome, man.
I knew it.
Can we get back to...
Yeah!
Go.
Cheers!
Bottom's up!
I'll miss you my ugly girls.
-Stephan, you're a pain. -What?
-Respect the dress code. -Yeah!
2000's bore me. I have a shirt, piss off.
Watch your mouth.
We're not alone!
I saw it. It had big horns.
Big eyes.
And cut! It's a wrap! Good job!
It was great!
-Nightmare's over. -Not funny.
No monster! I was staging the show.
Cause I had an audition, I didn't get the part.
-A drink, Bruno? -No thanks.
-Have a small drink. -Just a little.
Just a little one.
Sexy drinker!
You have a thing.
That's an arrest by the book. Block the forearm. Blocked!
I can't move.
Why does a woman beat you? It's embarrassing.
What's your problem?
What?
You want one?
Are you serious?
-Lift the arm up. There. -Fuck!
Fuck! I slipped.
It happens sometimes, yeah.
We're talking about a legend.
The guy suffered. He had a band aid.
What did Will Denzey do?
"The wall of sound."
Stand up, loosen up, now it has to blow up!
Regarding that, it's true.
Take it easy. We have all night.
It's New Year's! It's once a year.
Go on. Drink.
For me it's the best fuck of the year.
I remember one new year,
Stockholm in a sauna,
I got it so bad!
That's a good topic.
The craziest place you had sex?
Good question.
Bruno, for example.
If you already had sex.
The guy never had sex.
Consenting adults?
Yeah.
Family doesn't count?
No.
Well then I pass.
He's so silly.
You're a funny drinker. Have another shot.
What about you, Djamal?
Your best experience?
"What about you, Djamal? Your best experience?"
One not ending up in a hospital?
It's not a legend?
It's a 40cm legend, like a steak.
Stop talking about my dick!
You know how it feels, people staring?
Look the kid with a 30cm willy.
When I got accused for stealing baseball bats.
Take out the baseball bat!
No, it's a weenie.
It's not just my dick. I also have huge balls.
I've had a scoliosis for two months.
I'm 23. I should be in great shape.
But it's heavy in between my legs.
I'd rather be like Stephan.
Why are you laughing?
So, you guys haven't told us?
Unusual places?
In a mansion.
They didn't waste time.
Just to clarify,
lately we've been trying to conceive life.
He's a studious boy. He does his homework.
I'm rigorous on ovulations.
Not only ovulations.
We're eating.
That's sexy.
Come on!
The strangest place you've had sex?
You know me, I'm a saint.
Why are you laughing?
When did you have sex last? Berlin Teknival with punk ass dogs?
With dogs?
Turns out, not at all.
Really want to know?
Yeah.
Tell us.
It was on the Costa Brava. A hot summer night.
A Bossa Nova group playing smooth tunes.
I won't paint a picture.
We made love, we held each other.
Like glow-worms,
closing our bodies.
My fingers intertwined in her hair.
Her hair intertwined with algae.
Algae intertwined
with the cosmos.
I'll never forget.
Romantic. Who was it?
Don't know. Too fucked up.
Since we're in romance I propose a toast.
Or a loaf.
That's impro.
Thanks to my baby who planned all this.
Thanks, Nad!
Thank you all for playing along except Stephan.
You're welcome.
As you all know, I never met my parents.
Since we've known each other
for me you've become a real family.
Even if you're all going your own way soon,
I hope we'll always be together like tonight.
-To us! -To us!
Always the right words.
Cheers!
Oh sweetie!
This one's for Fabrice and Nadine!
Here we go!
Ready for the next one!
Fuck! I set them on fire.
Why did I stop dance class?
We can't do it all.
I'm an actor.
What are you doing?
-Preparing dessert. -Heavy.
Here, taste.
No!
Fuck, chives, shit!
No chive here...
It's time!
The moment we all have been waiting for!
All together.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6,
5, 4,
3, 2, 1...
Happy New Year!
That's fucking good.
You okay?
Not really.
I think I want to go home.
I don't feel well.
Want to taste?
It's my recipe. Mexican cupcakes. Three mushrooms.
-Yeah? -That's original.
Tell me about it. Wait.
Yeah?
-It's really good. -Yes?
I love sweet and sour taste.
Teonanacatl. Mexican for God's flesh.
The best of the best
of the best mushrooms.
Okay.
The Juarez family. Mushroom cultivator 7 generations.
You know what?
Take as much as you want. I'll make more.
Charlotte?
Okay.
Here!
You're the kind no one should lose sight.
Bruno's hot!
Bruno!
Fucking disgusting.
You okay?
Disgusting.
This is shit.
You.
Come here!
Fucking piece of shitty dog.
You had all night to take a shit. And you do it
on Bruno's feet!
Bruno isn't happy!
-Seen Kitty? -I'm fed up!
You pigheaded bitch.
I made you a grog.
Thank you.
Grandma's recipe.
You'll feel better.
What is it?
Water.
So, Bruno, explain how you found a headless dog?
I already told you,
I don't know.
The dog took a shit, I threw up.
And the head was...
the head...
We don't understand shit.
An otter.
Or a wild boar.
A wild boar? Who cuts heads off?
Really?
I think it's...
a lurker...
-Or someone in the woods. -Bruno.
No.
-Maybe so. -No.
We're going to bed. We'll try to sleep.
We'll leave tomorrow morning.
Try to enjoy the mansion.
Enjoy what?
With Bruno's slaughter? I'm not staying.
You did this to Kitty?
No, it wasn't me.
I love animals. I couldn't do that.
Hunters love animals too.
I said it's not me.
After they kill them.
Stop it, Stephan,
you know it's not Bruno. He's our friend.
We all know each other.
True.
Except Charlotte.
I don't know her. Do you know her?
I saw her,
a little while ago.
Where is she? When did you see her last?
Don't know. We arrived at 5?
Around 5 or 6.
She was at dinner.
What a fucking idiot!
Charlotte?
She must be in her room.
-Anyone have a tissue? -Shut up!
This is the devil's home.
You're all in danger.
Evil has killed all of my own.
Leave as soon as you can.
Go!
Fuck! Charlotte's not in her room.
She disappeared!
Fuck! I lost my cousin.
My aunt's going to kick my ass!
Don't worry, we'll find her.
Lower your voices, Nadine's resting.
Charlotte disappeared.
What?
I say we pack our bags and go.
Big wuss!
We can't count on you. She's Sam's cousin.
She's family. We don't abandon family.
-I'm here, baby. -Not your baby.
Wait a minute.
She can't be far. Let's make a plan.
I'll go downstairs.
-Me too. -I'll go too.
Three pairs of eyes.
Bruno and Jess, the 2nd floor.
Drazik and Djamal, check outside.
Meet back in 15 minutes?
We have to find her.
I feel something, like I'm in my movie.
Let's go!
Charlotte?
What's the target?
Mammal or human being.
I don't give a shit, big guy.
Animal or not, I'll fuck it up. Check this.
It's a damn moth! Fucking shit!
Fuck.
You're not to be fucked with.
Charlotte?
Is this Hollywood career serious?
-Of course it is, man. -Really?
I've got business plans. Business cards.
Hollywood movies won't come right away.
First small parts. Got to start somewhere.
The greatest did it. Step by step.
Come what may.
Fucking beautiful.
Slow down.
Our lamp's dead.
Why are we on this floor?
To find what?
Besides rats.
Scaredy-cat.
I'm not scared.
If she's hiding, how are we supposed to find her?
With her small voice, she'll yell.
We won't hear her.
Slap in the ass.
Slap in the ass?
Is that a proposal?
No.
It's... because...
it's the battery mechanism,
it must be defective.
Look. What is it?
It's a door.
I know, it's a door.
I get these kinds of doors.
-Really? -Yeah.
We can't go.
This kind never opens.
This one opened.
Charlotte?
Damn, look, cages and shit.
I need to call my agent. It's a fucking movie set.
You have an agent?
No, but when I do, I'll tell him.
In need, I'll be your agent.
We'll see.
For now, I need to nail my part.
What's the script?
It's about a guy with a big past.
And he meets a girl with a big crazy past too.
It's a secret project. I can't talk about it.
Coming soon. You'll see.
Look.
Come on, Djamal.
You can do it.
-What's wrong? -My weed.
Seriously, man?
Fuck, I have a heart condition.
Fuck.
Motherfucker.
Did I shit on myself?
Come up, it's just an attic.
Charlotte?
-There, let's go. -Bruno! Come here now.
You have no balls.
Wait for me.
Charlotte?
Not so loud. She'll hear us.
Isn't that the point?
Fuck. I have a bar.
I have a bar.
What kind of bar?
I lost it.
That's a shame.
Look. A picture of the mansion.
Can you hold this?
Yes.
"Disturbing missing person alert at the Mansion.
A little..." Flash me.
"An eight-year-old girl disappeared.
Still searching in the woods.
Satanic rumors about the Mansion.
No sign of the body of the little...
Charlotte!"
She's not here. Let's go.
Wait a minute.
The owner has good taste.
Saint Ã‰tienne 1874.
Caliber 20. Perfect with game animals.
-You know shot guns? -That's weird.
You don't know everything about me.
What's this?
"Taxidermy"?
Fuck.
Fuck!
Charlotte?
That's what I call archaeology.
Handy, precise.
I must say it's a nice weapon.
What's up?
Stop. Got it. Put it down.
Can't we have fun?
It's not funny.
Too light to be loaded.
It's ok.
It's not that shameful.
The greatest have done it.
Don't aim it at me, freak! I'm scared.
What are you scared of?
Nothing to be scared of.
Trust me.
Right, Sam?
One day my face will be here.
What is it?
No. Fuck.
Stomy? Fuck no! Not now.
Calm down. Think. What doesn't make me hard?
My father naked.
Oysters,
tooth aches, dentist appointments,
a strike, a flat tire on a bike,
a rally, a bike,
a Fiat Multipla, the first name Romuald, Yann Moix.
Fuck! You're such an asshole!
She's right. You almost hurt us.
I didn't know it was loaded. I'm sorry.
Sorry my ass. I almost died!
There's a monster!
There's a fucking monster upstairs!
A monster? Not a big rat?
Of course it's a rat. He's a wuss.
-Did you see it? -Not a thing.
And me?
I saw it.
It had a big antelope head.
Now you're all going to listen.
Pack your bags and we're leaving!
Go.
I'm going.
Get out!
I have to pack.
I fuck you up.
Stephan, stop.
Fuck!
Just stick together.
No time to fight.
Where are Drazik and Djamal?
Here.
Djamal?
With me in the barn.
If I'm not wrong.
Why the hell is he in the barn?
Fuck!
Djamal's dead.
I confirm.
He's stiff as a board.
It's not possible.
First Kitty, now Djamal.
We're going to die. I don't want to die.
We all agree, an animal did it.
Are you stupid? An animal couldn't have hung
his thing.
What kind of freak does this?
It's the monster.
Doesn't matter who, we have to go.
Drazik, get Nadine: to the bus.
What's wrong?
-Remember Djamal? -Yes.
He had a problem.
What?
This can't be real!
We're shit out of luck.
What's going on?
Is it true?
No.
The bus. Where's the bus?
It vanished, fuck.
No. I have the keys.
"I have the keys." It's gone!
No more bus, no network,
perfect, great weekend.
Stop yelling. It's not her fault.
She lost her dog.
-I'm not yelling! -Yes, you are.
Fuck I'm not yelling! We don't give a shit about her dog.
You don't give a shit?
I don't.
And the head cutting psycho?
-Get off me. -I've had it. You're never happy.
You don't dress up. Always nagging.
I don't want to see your fuck face anymore.
-Hold your woman! -Be nice. Stephan!
Why is a car watching us?
Are you ready to die...
of pleasure!
Is that Enzo?
It's Enzo!
Clit, music.
Happy to see the jerk.
Did you guys really think you'd spend New Year's without me?
This is gonna be the best night of your life.
Cause starting now
it's really...
A damn nightmare.
Help me!
Clit, stop the sound.
Go help him.
What if there's more traps? I'm staying here.
I'm stuck!
We can't leave him. We need to get him.
I can't carry him alone. Who's coming?
-Stephan? -What?
-Get the flashlight. -No. He's your friend.
-Loser. -Loser yourself.
Drazik?
Yes?
No. Bruno, with me.
What? Please, no.
Not cool.
You know I can't stand the sight of blood.
-So what do we do? -Ask someone else.
Bruno, you can do it. I believe in you.
We believe in you. Okay?
-Go! -I can do it.
Yes, you can.
Just fucking go!
Okay. I can do it.
Go, Bruno.
I'm gonna do it!
Go!
I can't. I'm not doing it.
No, stay with me.
Fuck.
It's okay. Slowly.
-Your hand. -Moving forward.
Flash me! Come on.
Why did I say that?
Why did I say I'll go? I'm a piece of shit.
That's a big one. Go. Move on.
-It hurts. -Sorry.
-Be careful. -I know.
Look. Be careful.
Enzo?
-Look. -Put the flash away!
-Sorry. -Not on the blood!
Calm down.
We're going to try to take the trap off.
On my go, move your legs.
-Okay? -Yes.
Do you understand?
Moan twice.
Fuck!
-He moaned once, he didn't get it. -Stop it.
Hurry up!
-We need to be in synch. -Fuck!
-Not looking. -Eyes shut.
My eyes are closed.
I'm taking it. Okay.
I grab the trap. I hold the trap.
-Eyes shut. -Go.
We pull?
Pull.
-Eyes shut. -Eyes shut.
-Pull. -Pulling.
Almost. Almost Enzo.
It's okay. Pull. Shut your eyes.
Eyes shut.
Go!
Motherfucker!
What the fuck? I said "eyes shut".
You said "go".
I thought it was for me, not for him.
Enzo, I'm so sorry.
-I forgive you. -I'm glad you're taking it well.
We need your junkie kit.
Okay.
No! Wait!
My mom's a pharmacist. I will be too. I have everything we need.
-Come on! -Not this one.
Fuck, I can't find it.
Against the runs, who cares.
Wait.
I'll find something.
A glass of water please.
We have to wait.
Dose it up!
Yes! Here, drink it.
We need a sheet.
I got tape for the blood.
No, not that. So stupid!
-Your underwear! -No!
No!
Not my underwear.
They're clean.
Who cares!
Take Thursday's but not that one.
Take the compress.
Fabrice,
did you get my sneakers? They're gonna get wet.
It's sentimental.
I got many girls with them.
-Fuck! -What?
I don't need them anymore.
Hold tight.
-Stephan? -Yeah?
They're yours.
No. I... We're not the same size.
Not the same size.
Put newspaper.
Right, put newspaper.
Even ski socks, the thick ones.
Yes. Ski socks.
Your feet are cut inside. Sorry, I can't.
Get out. Leave me alone. You're useless.
There.
What are you doing?
The other leg.
Okay. That's it.
We have to bail.
It's the only way.
On foot even. We'll find a house and call 911.
Not without Charlotte.
But you never abandon family!
You shut it.
This is bullshit.
First, Charlotte's a distant cousin.
Second,
Djamal is dead. Fuck! Wake up.
What about Enzo?
We can't leave him here.
You seem interested, now.
Don't start.
Start what?
Say what?
I'm just saying that you don't usually care.
Really? That's all you got?
-Yes. -That's it.
-"Whore". -Stop!
Shut up! I'll fuck him up!
Calm down.
That's all he's got to say!
Everyone calm down.
I owed Djamal 100 bucks.
I'm a goner.
Don't say that Enzo.
You're gonna make it. Okay? Just hang in there.
I don't think.
I know it.
I can feel it.
We'll get you to a hospital.
You'll be good as new. Okay?
They'll give you prosthetics. After you practice.
You'll do the Olympics.
You'll get all the medals.
Make loads of dough.
Get married.
Kill your wife.
Like that dude...
with no legs, killed his wife.
Drazik!
Out.
You know that guy?
Out.
It's okay. He makes me laugh.
-Ouch, fuck. -Sorry.
I'm not even scared.
I'm too weak.
I'm just gonna let go,
surrounded by friends.
Well...
there is one thing I'd ask for, but...
Go on. Ask all you want.
-Seriously? -Yes.
What the fuck?
Looking for the shoes.
Who gives a fuck?
Taking risks for that jerk.
I see him put moves on Samantha.
Stop it. You're getting totally paranoid.
Of what? Am I the only one seeing clearly?
Stop with your calm down. "Guys, don't fret, calm down!"
You don't exist.
Who calms down like this? No one.
So I get worked up. I'll leave with or without you.
Stephan, wait.
-Wait up. -Shut up.
Where are the damn keys?
Stephan! Open. I can see you in there.
Why did you say "shut up"?
What is all this?
Beautiful, a woman undressing.
This is messed up.
It's his last request.
Just dance and be sexy.
What a sight clothes sliding on skin.
-No I can't! -Don't wuss out.
He's seen you naked.
Just give him what he wants.
Easy for you. You like girls. With your short hair, I can tell.
Whatever.
Oh shit! That's tight!
Doesn't move an inch,
you work out?
Talking about my ass?
-You noticed? -Absolutely.
You look seventeen, it's so tight.
Turn around some.
Oh yes... There we go!
Nadine?
Can I ask you something?
The dude's name that killed his wife?
The one with spatulas instead of feet.
I...
Be kittens. Show me your feline side.
Jess, be a cop, do a take down.
-You're under arrest. -Yes!
-You can remain silent. -Yes!
You can have an attorney. Okay?
Don't move!
I can't really move anyways.
Sam, you know what I'd like?
Come on, Sam.
Fuck.
You pervert.
Oh fuck!
Fuck!
I knew it.
Small sausage.
Papers and registration.
I don't have them, he does.
On the hood!
We're 25 thousand feet in the air.
Fuck!
Stephan?
Fuck!
Fuck! Stephan, open!
What happened here?
I got bit by a fucking snake. Can't you tell?
Yeah.
Not really, you're just... a bit swollen up.
Okay.
I'm gonna kill Enzo, I'll be back.
Kill Enzo?
What? Stephan!
I never drink on the job.
I had a puff on an e-cig in the toilets.
Shut up or I'll smash your face on the wall.
-Here's some oxygen. -Make love to me.
Stephan?
I knew it.
I knew it!
I'm your executioner.
I'm going to kill you.
Stop! It's the venom talking.
Stop!
Calm down.
Come, baby. You'll be safe with me.
You're insane! You just killed him.
That's why I left you, freak!
You didn't leave me!
We're on a break!
So come here now.
Get out, freak!
Move, dyke!
Don't ever talk to Jess like that!
Get it in your head,
with Sam, it's over!
She can fuck whoever she wants. And she is.
They come on her!
We got it, Bruno.
Ten years giving me shit.
Treating me like shit.
Only my mom can!
That's it. Just my mom!
You deserve to get peed on.
I'm going to.
Stop!
-Bruno, it's useless! -Fine.
-Stop. -Okay.
Stop. Come on.
-Just a little. -Stop it!
-I won't do it. -Stop it!
What's this? What's going on?
How could you? To your friends?
To Enzo? To Djamal?
You're crazy! It's not me!
Listen, Stephan,
we took a vote,
I'm going to pee on you.
Stop with your pee!
You've always been jealous of them. You're hopeless.
But it's not me!
Baby, say something.
You're a sick man.
Fabrice!
It's not me!
You've changed.
I don't know you.
Come back here!
Come back! It's not me!
Please.
A cigarette! Someone, please!
By chance, do you know the name of the guy who killed his wife?
The guy with the wooden leg?
The South African?
I don't give a fucking shit!
Fuck!
A light. A light! Drazik?
Drazik, a light!
Charlotte! You're fucking alive!
Alive, I don't know.
What happened?
Let me take care of her.
I got her right away.
I'll approach slowly.
Gently.
Don't move.
Stop.
Charlotte?
Sweetie, do you recognize me?
My deposit!
My aunt's going to kill me!
She's allowed to pee! She's perfect.
Nunctus Sanctus Day. Vade retro satana!
Are you stupid or what?
I don't know. Never know.
Dilated pupil.
Urine leakage.
Sweaty earlobe.
Little rascal nose.
Looks like cupcake poisoning.
What cupcake?
The Mexican ones she ate earlier. Three mushrooms.
Did you eat some?
You let her eat the cupcakes?
I can make more. Takes only 15 mins.
Are you fucking stupid?
Stop!
It took 20 minutes for the dough.
Stop!
It's useless.
We found Charlotte.
Let's find a way out of here.
The worst night of my life. I'll be in my room.
Earlier with Jess in the attic I had a bar.
It didn't stay long but we can try.
To get a signal
and call for help. Okay?
Let's go.
-I'm coming. -No.
Why not?
It's not a good idea.
It can be dangerous. It's best I go alone.
Good job.
You know what I'll do when you get back?
Tell me.
Lentils with salted pork.
I love that.
Incredible.
Come on. Go!
I'm going.
My hero!
Go!
Drazik, let's go.
I have other plans.
Don't worry, babe, we're okay now.
The wild boars.
-What about them? -They know.
No, honey, they're in the woods.
Stephan's the mean guy. He can't hurt us anymore.
It's not Stephan.
Yes, it is.
No.
And you're not a saint. You're a slut.
Watch out! I didn't talk shit, bitch!
I'm losing my head with all of this.
Sorry, sweetie. I don't know what got into me.
Bad luck! I work out. I'll smash your head.
Move, bitch!
Got something?
No. Nothing.
Damn it!
Hello?
Mom?
You're calling your mom?
He's in the house.
He killed Jess. Charlotte too I think.
I tried to save her but I couldn't.
Fuck!
The only girl that smiles at me
in 5 years
has to go!
Damn it!
I'll never know the joy of sex!
Where's Nadine?
I didn't see her. I hope in her room.
-We need to get her now. -No.
We need equipment first.
Look. Three bars.
I can't believe it!
No network needed.
This is between us.
Nadine?
-Fuck, Drazik? -Hey!
Where were you?
Taking a shit and...
Have a look.
Nadine?
What's this maze?
It covers all the house.
Like a...
parallel network. -Exactly.
We're going around in circles.
I have an idea.
We could leave pebbles all around.
Yeah.
You have pebbles?
No, I admit.
This is how the killer moves around.
I think so too.
But this time,
I get his plan.
Which means?
We'll beat him at his own game.
Which means?
-I just told you. -I don't get it.
We'll beat him at his own game. Follow me.
Or else, yes, fuck,
little pieces of weed. Like this.
Yeah, good idea. Do that.
You're right, stupid idea.
Stupid idea.
This way.
No!
The look of the room!
It's like
a secret room.
You think the killer sleeps here?
I'm staying with my first idea.
Which was?
An otter.
I'm sorry but it all fits.
Little by little,
the noose is tightening.
This thing again.
You know what taxidermy is?
Look!
It's the mansion. I recognize the doors.
It must be the Baron.
Don't these kids look familiar?
Man, I can't.
-What? -I can't.
You okay? What's wrong?
Where's Nadine?
We'll find her.
-Fuck. -Don't worry. You trust me?
-No. -I promise we'll find her.
We're four.
Nothing can happen as long as...
Where are they?
Fuck!
Okay. He's alone. We're two.
I'll take care of it. I'll handle it.
I'll kill you.
I got you, Stephan!
Nadine?
No! Mom!
Mom!
You know I hate doing this.
I lost control.
I didn't think he'd be so tough.
Doesn't matter.
One more down.
We're almost finished. I'll massage you after.
Shut up!
Maybe the Baron's the killer?
The guy has died since then.
Maybe it's the kids.
He passed them the vice.
A bad omen
but heavy is the crown.
No jokes. This kind of thing.
See that?
It's written
"Nardine and Patrice."
-Know any Nardine and Patrice? -No.
Unless.
It says in braille,
"Don't touch."
I'm joking.
It's says "Nadine and Fabrice."
Nadine
and Fabrice?
What you doing?
How can you fucking smoke now!
I don't know.
Maybe in 5 minutes,
I won't be able to anymore.
Someone came in the room. I can feel it.
Pistorius.
Fuck. Oscar Pistorius!
The guy who killed his wife.
It was on the tip of my tongue.
That feels good.
Good evening!
Fellow friends,
this is the best New Year's of my life!
And that's
thanks to you.
Thank you.
What are you doing? You're crazy!
Crazy?
No.
Fabrice loves you guys so much.
I help to keep his loved ones.
You don't know how lucky you are.
But you,
you can't hurt us, I thought we were family.
Exactly.
A family stays united.
We don't leave each other.
I like my family close to me.
Like for example,
my little sister.
You're brother and sister. Disgusting!
On the contrary.
You should see us have sex.
There's nothing better.
69.
The Amazon.
Tomoe Nage.
The pink marker.
The Koala
on the log.
You know I'm open-minded,
but it's dirty. Really filthy.
We created the perfect couple.
Bound by heart and blood.
Blood.
Our parents enjoyed having fun.
They loved to party.
A little too much.
Let's go!
Time to sleep, kids!
Sweet dreams. Blandine, take care of your brother.
Nadine!
Yeah, if you want.
Go!
Don't worry.
We'll be back later.
Go!
Come on!
They never came back.
We stayed three nights alone in the fucking forest.
I promised no one would ever abandon us.
Baron Gluckenstein Muller took us in his mansion.
Didier was a brilliant man,
a fearsome hunter, animal lover, an outstanding taxidermist.
By stuffing animals,
he made them eternal.
So that's taxidermy!
I just followed what I learned
on my loved ones.
And I started my collection.
Consuella,
our housekeeper.
She discovered our activities.
Bad Consu!
Jean-Luc,
our ski instructor.
He left before my bunny's first star.
Look, babe. My first one.
Flake.
So adorable.
He kept running away. So did Kitty.
But she's so cute.
And now, the rough diamond of my collection.
Willy Denzey.
Willy D.
King Will.
The Dens WD pounds.
When he announced putting his career on standby,
Fabrice fell apart.
I see Mr. Calotte, my therapist.
Mrs. Prunelle, my therapist.
And little Charlotte,
my first love.
Don't say her name.
And so many more,
united here
for eternity.
Why do this?
It's simple.
I'm killing you because I love you.
We love you too.
We'll never leave you.
Liar!
You want to be a stewardess.
So ready to die or do you need a makeover first?
Crew chief. No make over. I'm a natural beauty, unlike you!
I'm going to kill the bitch!
Calm down, girls.
Be sweet with name calling.
Not here. Remember
we're here to party.
Samantha!
Stephan?
Stephan? Here. Come save me.
Samantha!
Why are you smiling?
What are you doing?
Free family first!
Wait your turn, okay!
I'm sorry about the cupcakes. I had a heavy hand.
Not enough fudge. I missed my frosting.
Don't apologize. It made me feel good.
It opened doors.
It's like there was a barrier...
I feel alive.
I have an idea! My pocket. The Zippo.
That's Pauline. The other pocket.
Yes, for the rope!
Good idea. Yeah.
Here you are.
I'm going to kill you!
Come on, baby! Kill him!
Kick his motherfucking ass!
Fuck him up! Bastard!
They're fucking taxidermists!
Here, whore. You'll be able to join your lovers.
Join your...
Samantha!
You killed her! You killed Sam!
Don't worry. She loved getting poked.
Wait!
Stop, Stephan!
We did all this
cause you're our friends. We love you.
Especially you, Stephan. You're my favorite.
Stop or I will rip off your small dick.
Fucking stop, I said.
I hate you!
Go to hell. You and your fucking weekend.
No...
Baby? Sam?
I'm sorry, love.
I couldn't save you.
It's okay, baby. I'm sorry.
I should've been more honest.
I should've told you before.
I forgive you.
Who cares if you cheated, I love you.
I slept with Enzo.
I know. It doesn't matter.
I also blew Djamal a bit,
to help for an audition.
He was a good guy.
I slept with Drazik too.
What?
Yes.
The beach, warm sand, Bossa Nova.
That was you?
-Hey, sorry man. -It's okay.
As long as you didn't have sex with Bruno.
No.
I didn't have sex with Bruno,
just a hand job.
It's time for the Last Judgement
I'm going to saw you in two
Calm down, Fabrice.
Stop before it gets out of control.
You know me I'm a fucking crazy
Open the door.
-What? -Open the door.
Man, I'll stuff you
You know how it goes
I'll open your body Take out the heart
And your oesophagus too
Have a good trip, man.
Anyone there?
Hey, you guys!
You're beautiful.
I don't want Miss Slut near me.
I can't help you.
I agree. Put me next to a real man.
I'm not just a dick!
Tell my mom I love her. Not like a son.
-I love her like my wife. -Will do.
Keep the shoes. Too big for Stephan.
Shh! I'm ovulating.
Great!
Do something please.
Help me first. Don't forget I've never had sex.
Not all at once!
Tell Samantha I love her.
Be a man, Fabrice. Have some balls!
Get my legs outside, please. You just need to glue them.
Stop it! Please! Calm down.
Please, calm down.
I need to fuck!
Stop with that shit!
Sorry to bother you.
Seen Pauline?
A little frog
big like this.
No.
Okay.
Willy, is that you?
Fabrice,
you screwed up, man.
Friendship is sacred. You didn't respect that.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm placing myself.
Efficient.
Follow my lead
Stephan?
Leave without me. Let me die.
The venom
has taken over.
Let me die with Samantha.
I can't leave you, man.
Leave!
Just go!
And you.
You,
love him
like you've never loved.
Because at the end,
all that counts is love.
Thank you for everything.
I'll never forget what you did for us.
Drazik? Come closer.
Don't trust her.
They're all sluts.
Wait a minute.
What's wrong?
I was sure something else would happen.
In fact, no.
I'm not too heavy?
No, don't worry.
You're like a backpack with legs.
Look, a squirrel!
And the doe over there...
Bad omen.
I'm hungry.
The forest will give us all we need.
I just hope we won't see an otter.
THE MANSION
Subtitles: Julie Martel
Subtitling: ECLAIR